On August 30th I had my followup for my surgery. Everything is fine. No polyp. All my labs came back normal. Nothing to stop us from moving forward. I also said goodbye to my doctor. She was leaving the practice and moving to another state. I think she will miss us as much as we will miss her. She has been through all of my miscarriages and she delivered Hope. I know all of the doctors at the practice and will be OK seeing them, and trust everyone there to take care of me, but it's sad none-the-less.
I also that day finally called on some insurance questions I had about billing for my first postpartum appointment. Well, I finally heard back on Tuesday and we got everything straightened out, but not before I heard the worst phrase ever. That appointment wasn't a postpartum appointment. It was an appointment for my doctor to discuss my history as a "recurrent aborter." Even typing those words now makes me angry. When I heard them on Tuesday I almost started crying. What a horrible phrase. It makes it sound like I am a hussy who gets pregnant because of not taking precautions and then uses abortions for birth control. I know it is a medical term and diagnosis for someone who has repeated losses. I just think it plain sucks. I want to change this phrase. There is no reason for it to be used, no reason the word "loss" can't replace it. At the very least, no person in the medical profession, whether a nurse, doctor or just in billing, should EVER say it to a woman who has suffered multiple losses. It was a stab in my heart and in my gut. It was a major setback on my road to recovery. It brings back all the guilt I felt for the things I should have or could have done differently with my pregnancy with Hope. It makes me feel like it is my fault. My new mission is that no other woman out there ever be called a "recurrent aborter" ever again. Meanwhile, my weight has continued to creep upwards even as we are exercising and walking. I now weigh 10 lbs more than when I had Hope, almost 4 lbs more than my pre-pregnancy weight. I am trying to stay positive, but it is difficult to keep up with the walking and exercising when I see the scale keep climbing. On the other side, the walking is making a great improvement in my general health and stamina. I am jogging/running more and more and my pace for a mile is now down to around 14 minutes. I still get winded but it is getting better. My husband and I have been trying out different apps on our phone for tracking our walking both at the park and in the woods. I like the features of Runtastic, but it's GPS tracking isn't that accurate, especially in the woods. I've been using MapMyFitness which is more accurate, but doesn't have some of the features I like. Husband tried Enmodo but didn't like that one very well. Have any of you used GPS tracking apps or other fitness tracking devices? What do you like? Last bit... We are due to start trying to conceive again at the end of the month. I'm excited and scared at the same time. I can't wait to be pregnant again and hope and pray that this time it all goes well. At the same time I am terrified that there is some other reason for my losses. I have a hard time believing it was all just bad luck. Also, the timing is a bit strange for me. Hope's due date is approaching. October 4, 2013. I could possibly conceive before her due date. What's more, one of our best friends is getting married on that day and hubby is in the wedding and we are doing the pictures. I don't know whether I welcome the distraction or if I am going to be a total wreck that day. Probably a little of each. Hope to be able to update more often, but we are on overtime as the quarter started and I'm working around 50 hours a week. At the very least, I know I'll be posting around the 4th. <3
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Holly Crews
The mother of five angel babies, and one rainbow baby. I have had four miscarriages, an SCH (sub chorionic hemorrhage), pProm (pre-term premature rupture of membranes), and a pre-term still birth. Archives
October 2022
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